Rugby supporters are known for their ready humour and repartee. At Ebbw Vale, we have our fair share of wags who willingly share their rapier-like wit at grounds all over the nation, and others who are just as keen to let the website know about it! Here it is, our collection of bon mots and epithets (aka stuff what people have said with their mouths)…
Ebbw Vale v Skewen, National Cup, January 28th, 2017
A middle aged supporter disagrees with a decision made by the youthful referee.
Supporter: Come on ref, that was a schoolboy error! (Pause) Then again, you ARE a schoolboy…
Merthyr v Ebbw Vale, Principality Premiership, October 8th, 2016
As the game draws to an end, with Merthyr leading, a short, bald man who has spent the afernoon consuming Strongbow, starts to sing.
Ebbw supporter: Bloody hell, the Fat Lady’s let herself go.
When he finishes, there is a smattering of applause, and he bows.
Ebbw supporter: We’re not clapping because you’re any good, we’re clapping because you’ve stopped, butt.
Merthyr v Ebbw Vale, Principality Premiership, October 8th, 2016
In the first half of the match between Ebbw and ‘big-spending Merthyr’, one of the Ironmen lies injured on the plastic pitch.
Ebbw supporter: Ah, it’s ok, he just landed awkwardly on his wallet.
Ebbw Vale v Cardiff, Principality Premiership, January 3rd, 2015
Late on, Cardiff send on replacements and there is some applause as those replaced leave the field.
Ebbw supporter: Don’t get excited boys, we’re only clapping to warm our hands up!
Cross Keys v Ebbw Vale, British and Irish Cup Qualifier, August 30th, 2014
One of Cross Keys’ large props lies supine, awaiting treatment.
Voice in the crowd 1: Roll him off.
Voice in the crowd 2: Off to the glue factory for you, son!
Ebbw Vale v Moseley, Friendly, August 17th 2014
Moseley coach: Their scrum half was off side there, surely.
Ebbw supporter: He wasn’t offisde, and anyway, the ref’s not Shirley he’s Sean.
(Mr O aged 48 1/2)
Bonymaen v Ebbw Vale, National Championship, April 26th, 2014
The first hour of the game was played in very, very heavy rain. Ebbw were leading 19-0 when the downpour eventually stopped.
Ebbw supporter: Ref, they’ll have to score 25 to win now under the Duckworth-Lewis method!
(A DNG classic)
Ebbw Vale v Newbridge, National Championship, April 1st 2014
Newbridge’s scrum has been on the end of a hammering all evening. Eventually, one of their props goes down injured, and the trainer arrives to treat him.
Ebbw supporter: Unless you’re installing something mechanical, it’s not going to help!
(Contributed by MJV, attributed to John the Vet)
Ebbw Vale v Llandovery, SWALEC Cup quarter final, March 22nd, 2014
Llandovery’s “mature” prop forwards are experiencing a difficult afternoon in the scrums. One of them, a noticeably senior fellow, pops up in the air at one scrum and is penalised, to the delight of the Ebbw players and supporters.
Ebbw supporter 1: There’s one to tell your great grandchildren about, number 3!
Ebbw supporter 2: Aye, you can tell them when you get home today.
and, as the Llandovery front row delay re-setting a scrum…
Ebbw supporter 1: What the hell is their prop waiting for now?
Ebbw supporter 2: Be fair, he’s probably trying to get the turf out from between his teeth.
Ebbw Vale v RGC 1404, National Championship, December 28th, 2013
The RGC coach is parked proudly outside Eugene Cross Park, a visual feast of painted proclamations and sponsors. An Ebbw supporter, passing by after the Steelmen’s 45-0 destruction of the Gogs, pauses to read one of the slogans.
Ebbw supporter: “Team of a million people” eh? I wonder where the other 999996 are today?
(Perpetrated by Mr O, aged 47 and 5/6)
Cardiff Met v Ebbw Vale, National Championship, September 28th, 2013
A large scale fracas breaks out between most of the players and one of the students is about to hit Ebbw skipper Damien Hudd, who merely swats him away.
Ebbw supporter: Damien, stop playing with your food!
Ebbw Vale v Whitland, National Championship, March 2nd, 2013
Early in the game, a Whitland forward squares up to, and pushes, Ebbw hooker Mathew WIlliams.
Ebbw supporter: Oy, leave him alone! He’s been here 10 years, you’ve only been here 10 minutes!
Same game, second half, Ebbw are 45-0 in the lead, but the referee has his arm out permanently for Whitland (penalty count 1-10!).
Ebbw supporter: Oi Whitland, if you’d kicked all your penalties, you’d be winning!
Both contributed by Wally, first attributed to him, second to MJV.
Cardiff v Ebbw Vale, SWALEC Cup Round 2, February 16th, 2013
This cup game was played on a dreadful surface, a mix of sand and mud. There was a huge contingent of Ebbw supporters. After warming up, the Ebbw players trooped off to a cacophony of applause.
Ebbw supporter: Well done Ebb, same again second half!
Same game, a break in play, the referee lectures some forwards.
Ebbw supporter: Hurry up ref, the tide’s coming in!
And again… there was a certain feeling that one team was gaining an unusually high number of penalties.
Ebbw supporter: Come on mun ref, there’s two sides on the beach!
Ebbw Vale v Bridgend Athletic, National Championship, November 17th, 2012
This was the first time the two sides had ever met, so Bridgend Athletic had never played at ECP before. In the second half, the referee brandished a yellow card at a visiting player for some misdemeanour.
Ebbw supporter: They’re the same every time they come here ref!
(Anonymous. Well, OK, it was me, and it’s only the second vaguely amusing thing I’ve said in my life.)
Same game. Coming on as a substitute, club captain Damien Hudd returns to action after a long injury layoff, sporting not only a bald head but also a full beard. In amongst the bank’s warm applause and to much laughter…
Ebbw supporter: Hey Damien, you got yer ‘ed on upside down
Whitland v Ebbw Vale, National Championship, October 20th, 2012
Whitland skipper Andrew ‘Shinco’ Jenkins, who led Ebbw in the relegation season 2009-10, has just received a yellow card.
Ebbw supporter 1: Aahh, just the way we remember you, Shinco, on the way to the sin bin.
Ebbw supporter 2: Aye, and bottom of the league!
(Andrew had the last laugh, of course, as Whitland won 30-29)
Cardiff Met v Ebbw Vale, National Championship, October 13th, 2012
Charlie Simpson has just dropped a goal to win a tight game for Ebbw.
Ebbw supporter: Mee-ow, mee-ow, prow, prow mee-ow… Charlie says, “That was bit too close for comfort!”
(Mr. O, aged 46 and 2/3)
Glamorgan Wanderers v Ebbw Vale, National Championship, September 1st, 2012
Under intense pressure from the Ebbw scrum, Wanderers’ front row stand up.
Ebbw supporter: Come on ref, all three of their props stood up then!
Ebbw Vale v Cross Keys, SWALEC Cup semi-final, April 14th, 2012
(A few days afterwards)
Ebbw supporter 1: The Ebbw supporters on Saturday were magnificent, even Mark Ring* said so on Twitter.
Ebbw supporter 2: Aye. The only thing ‘magnificent’ about the Cross Keys supporters was that there were seven of them.
Rumney v Ebbw Vale, April 7th, 2012
Ebbw supporter 1: This pitch looks tiny to me.
Ebbw supporter 2: If they levelled the bumps out it would be bigger than ours!
RS, CJ and the accompanying laughter of his harem.
Ebbw Vale v Merthyr, March 31st, 2012
Wes Cunliffe has just darted over for a try.
Ebbw supporter: I can see the headlines now. “Wesley snipes in for a great try.”
Another gem from Mr. O, now aged 46.
Ebbw Vale v Gilfach Goch, January 7th, 2012
A week of wet weather has turned the Gilfach pitch into a bog. Towards the end of the match, the referee attempts to do something that, in golf, would be termed “replacing a divot”.
Ebbw supporter: Don’t bother ref, the farmer’ll be along soon to replant the cabbages!
Perpetrated by Neil Roberts
Beddau v Ebbw Vale, November 26th, 2011
Ebbw Vale’s supporters are up in arms after the introduction of uncontested scrums, following a half-time injury to Beddau’s replacement prop. Ebbw drive a maul towards the Beddau line.
Ebbw supporter: Come on Ebbw, walk very gingerly towards their line!
The work of Mr O, aged 45 and 3/4.
Same game, at the end.
Ebbw supporter 1: Well, that’s another potential banana skin avoided.
Ebbw supporter 2: P’raps that’s what their prop slipped on in the changing room at half time…
Game unknown, season 2010-11
Sent in by Graham Davies, club photographer and statistician
At a home match I stood by the fence in front of the banking for a pre-match natter with Christine. She addressed me when I got there:
Christine: “Well, if it isn’t Ebbw Vale’s answer to Brad Pitt”.
Christine’s son: “Yeah, Big Pit”
Built up to the sky and knocked to the ground in five seconds.
Bedlinog v Ebbw Vale, April 23rd, 2011
An Ebbw supporter surveys the daisies, buttercups and dandelions growing on the pitch.
Ebbw supporter: It’s like playing on the Eden Project!
Perpetrator: Mr A H Davies of Merthyr Tydfil.
Ebbw Vale v Bargoed, March 1st, 2011
Ebbw’s Sam Mills, who has been off the pitch for treatment to a cut, is pedalling away furiously on an exercise bike next to the home dugout.
Ebbw Supporter 1: What the hell is Sam doing there?
Ebbw supporter 2: If he stops pedalling, the lights go out.
Contributed by RS, punch line by Neil Roberts.
Ebbw Vale v Llandovery, March 7th, 2009
Ebbw have just lost 27-3 to the bottom-but-one placed Drovers in a dire affair.
Ebbw supporter 1: That was awful, I can’t think of a single thing we did well.
Ebbw supporter 2: Oh, I don’t know; I thought we ran off well at half time.
Cross Keys v Ebbw Vale, September 27th, 2008
Ebbw Vale cling on to a 19-17 lead, Keys have just missed a penalty, and the game is in injury time. An Ebbw supporter checks his watch for the hundredth time…
Ebbw supporter: That’s five minutes of extra time the ref has played now.
Cross Keys supporter: It’s not five minutes at all; it’s four minutes and ninety seconds.
Contributed by Milo, still scratching his head in bewilderment.
Ebbw Vale v Llanelli, December 1st, 2007
Aaron Bramwell is considering taking a penalty shot at goal into the teeth of a gale.
Ebbw supporter 1: He’s throwing a blade of grass up to test the wind.
Ebbw supporter 2: He could throw a brick up in that wind!
The match is live on S4C and, in the back of the stand, a make-up assistant is lightly dusting the craggy face of Emyr Lewis with powder.
Ebbw supporter: Oi, Emyr! You want a plasterer not a make-up assistant!
Pontypridd v Ebbw Vale, November 3rd, 2007
The Ponty Panda is cavorting merrily in front of a group of Ebbw supporters, making frivolous, un-Pandalike gestures.
Ebbw supporter 1: I don’t know what you’re so happy about – your species is nearly extinct.
Ebbw supporter 2: Aye, even I get more sex than you do!
Glamorgan Wanderers v Ebbw Vale, March 31st 2007
A huge touch-finder by Ebbw fullback Andrew McLaughlan smashes into the small stand at the Ely Memorial Ground.
Ebbw supporter: Careful Macca; you nearly ****ed up their criteria points then!
Thanks to Steve Young.
Ebbw Vale v Bridgend, January 6th, 2007
Ebbw, top of the Principality Premiership, face a lively and tenacious challenge from the Ravens who have just scored to level the game at 20 -20.
Bridgend supporter (somewhat gloatingly): It’s hard at the top, isn’t it Ebbw?
Ebbw soon resume normal service, scoring the next try.
Ebbw supporter (even more gloatingly): Aye, but it’s harder for you lot down there propping us up!
Contributed by Milo.
Llandovery v Ebbw Vale, December 26th, 2006
The ‘local derby’ at Llandovery saw several hundred Ebbw fans descend on Carmarthenshire decked out in Hawaiian shorts and Santa Claus hats. One well known member of the Supporters Club turned up in full Irish leprechaun outfit: green trousers and jacket, yellow checked waistcoat and a top hat. As he walks to take his place on the terrace…
Ebbw supporter: So you decided not to bother with fancy dress then Dolly!
Contributed by DNG.
Ebbw Vale v Pontypridd, October 28th, 2006
John Bowd has flattened a Ponty player with a devastating tackle – the thump echoed off Mynydd Carn-y-Cefn and the Domen.
Ebbw supporter 1: Pick your teeth up, butt!
Ebbw supporter 2: Aye, they came out of your arse!
Contributed by RS who was behind Messrs Evans and Phillips, the ‘performers’.
Dale ‘Chief’ McIntosh limps off to warm applause.
Ebbw supporter: Oh no! Who’s going to referee the game now?
Ebbw Vale v Swansea, October 14th, 2006
Simon Hunt has powered through the narrowest of touchline corridors and dived in at the corner for a real opportunist try.
Ebbw supporter: Simon, you’re just like a woman: you can make something out of nothing!
Contributed by Wally, attributed to a teenage Ebbw supporter whose identity had best remain secret for fear of female reprisals!
Ebbw Vale v Aberavon, October 7th, 2006
Ebbw line out on the Aberavon 22, mid way through the second half. Richard Wilkes throws in and the ball bananas in the wind directly into the safe hands of Craig Cleaver at the back of the line. The referee, not surprisingly, blows for ‘not straight’ and offers Aberavon a line-out or scrum.
Ebbw supporter on the bank: Oh c’mon mun ref, what d’you want? Nothing wrong with that, it was straight down the middle!
Aberavon supporter: Well I hope the railway line they’re building for you buggers is going to be a lot straighter than your throwing in, otherwise it’ll take all day to get to Ebbw Vale!
Contributed by Marcus Russell.
Cross Keys v Ebbw Vale, September 30th, 2006
Our favourite referee, with whom we fell inextricably in love at Bedwas last season, has just made an awful decision against Ebbw Vale.
Ebbw supporter 1: Ref, I hope there’s an assessor watching you.
Ebbw supporter 2: Ref, I hope there’s an assassin watching you!
Provided by Graham, perpetrated by Geezer.
*NB: Ebbw Vale RFC in no way condones the use of assassins as a means of regulating referees’ performances.
Maesteg v Ebbw Vale, September 23rd, 2006
Five minutes and two penalties to Ebbw into the game…
Maesteg supporter: How much are Pontypool paying you ref?
Five minutes and another three penalties to Ebbw later…
Maesteg supporter: Oh c’mon ref. You must be from Pontypool an’ all!
Ebbw supporter: You do know you’re playing Ebbw Vale don’t you?
Maesteg supporter: Ah… right…
Bridgend v Ebbw Vale, September 2nd, 2006
It’s just the fifth minute of the first game of the season when Bridgend are penalised for being offside at a maul.
Ebbw supporter: All the time, ref!
Contributed by RS who was one of many to applaud MJV, the perpetrator of this classy call.
Ebbw Vale v Pontypridd, May 9th 2006
The referee is giving a long, finger wagging lecture to Simon Hunt who has questioned a decision against him in fairly strong terms.
Ebbw supporter: Leave him alone ref! He only said what the rest of us are thinking!
A DNG contribution
Cross Keys v Ebbw Vale, April 28th, 2006
One of the many former Ebbw players in the Cross Keys team has just been penalised for being offside – quite spectacularly so.
Ebbw supporter 1: Wrong side XXXXXX; you don’t play for us any more.
Ebbw supporter 2: Thank God!
Contributed by CJ
Ebbw Vale v Bedwas, October 29th, 2005
Behind the posts, on the cricket field, the Bedwas replacements are gently warming up. They are wearing long, black coats that flap around them like cloaks.
Ebbw supporter: Are they going to play rugby or quidditch?
Maesteg v Ebbw Vale, October 1st 2005
Maesteg supporter 1: Your ground has got the best terracing in Wales, but some places we’ve been have got awful facilities.
Ebbw supporter: This ground is nice, mind.
Maesteg supporter 1: Aye, and if we stay up and you come back next year, you’ll see a difference.
Maesteg supporter 2: Aye, there’ll be a bloody great supermarket on it!
Ebbw Vale v Pontypridd, January 15th 2005
In the light of concerns over the increasing abuse of officials, the WRU has reiterated their stance that clubs are responsible for their supporters’ comments and behaviour. Match announcer Alan Evans has twice reminded supporters of the WRU directive.
In the second half, the referee penalises an Ebbw Vale forward for ‘holding on’ even though the ball has actually emerged on the Pontypridd side of the ruck.
Ebbw supporter: For God’s sake mun, ref, you must be… oh, hang on… I say referee, I respectfully suggest that you may have made an incorrect decision on this occasion.
Ebbw Vale v Swansea, December 11th, 2004
Ebbw have just beaten the All Whites 16 – 0.
Ebbw supporter: Nil. My favourite score for the opposition!
Ebbw Vale v Carmarthen Quins, April 10th, 2004
Veteran Tongan lock, Kuli Faletau, catches a ball under pressure and makes 15 metres to set up good ball for Ebbw. (You need to say this one out loud to get the full effect.)
Ebbw Supporter 1: That Kuli, great player. Never loses his cool.
Ebbw Supporter 2: Good job really, otherwise he’d be called ‘Ee”.
Contributed by DNG (who played his part in this!)
Ebbw Vale v Llandovery, November 22nd, 2003
A murky day and a dismal performance by Ebbw at Eugene Cross Park. It begins to get dark just before half time.
Ebbw Supporter 1: The gloom descends… we’ll have to have the lights on soon.
Ebbw Supporter 2: God, you don’t want to see more of this do you?
Contributed by DNG
Ebbw Vale v Llanelli, December 21st 2002
Ebbw supporter: I tell you what – it’s a bloody good job that William Webb Ellis didn’t go to school in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantisiliogogogoch.
Contributed by Wally
Munster v Ebbw Vale, September 6th 2002
Not ‘banter’ but worthy of inclusion. After Ebbw’s defeat in Cork, a small group of supporters are talking to some Munster fans in the clubhouse.
Ebbw: So where can you recommend for us to watch Ireland against Romania tomorrow?
Munster: All the pubs will be showing it.
Ebbw: Any Irish bars around here?
Contributed by Milo who heard IH saying it.
Ebbw Vale v Caerphilly, May 10th 2002
In this, the last match of a difficult season, Ebbw Vale have Allan Bateman playing in the centre on permit from Neath. The living rugby legend has spent all season in one of those snug-fitting, shiny black jerseys but has just crossed for Ebbw’s 8th try and is sauntering back to the massive applause of the crowd.
Ebbw supporter: Hey, Allan, what’s it like to wear a jersey you can breathe out in?
Contributed by IJ, attributed to Wally.
Post match, about 10 pm, Llanelli v Ebbw Vale, April 13th 2002 at the Ebbw Vale clubhouse
Not ‘banter’ as such but a cracker nevertheless. A famously blonde Ebbw supporter is speaking to a fellow supporter about the afternoon’s semi-final at the Millennium Stadium.
She: Where were you this afternoon?
She: Oh so you missed the game then?
He: Block M35
She: I thought you meant you were on the motorway.
Ebbw Vale U21 v Exeter U21, March 23rd 2002
A pile up of players causes the referee to blow and award a scrum to Ebbw to the annoyance of a female supporter…
Ebbw supporter: Aww! Why did you blow up, ref?
Referee (turning to her and pointing to an Exeter player on the floor): Because he was going to get a shoeing, my love, and my bosses have told me to stop it happening.
Witnessed by MJV, DNG, RS.
Newport v Ebbw, Boxing Day 2001
Ebbw supporter: Come on ‘Port, pass it to a Welshman!
A few minutes later, a wild pass by a Newport player ends up in the crowd.
Ebbw supporter: Look! He’s found a Welshman!
Contributed by Wally.
Pontypridd v Ebbw Vale, December 22nd, 2001
Late in the game a few days before Christmas, the Ponty bugler blows the haunting strains of ‘The Last Post’. As it ends…
Ebbw supporter: Last post went on Tuesday, mun!
Contributed by RS.
Carmarthen Quins v Ebbw Vale, February 2001
An excited Carmarthen supporter spots the shiny head of Nathan Budgett which, along with the rest of Nathan Budgett, is about to make a rare appearance for Ebbw in an injury-ridden season.
Carmarthen supporter: Look! Look! Nathan Budgett is coming on!
Ebbw supporter: Aye, he’s on permit from Wales.
Contributed by Wally, attributed to Gutty.
Llandovery v Ebbw Vale, January 2001
A Llandovery player limps off injured:
Ebbw Vale supporter: Oh no! Who’s gonna do the milking in the morning, now?
Contributed by Wally
Ebbw Vale v Llanelli, Under 21, January 10th, 2001
Ref, you’re bad enough to be first class!
Ebbw Vale v Newport, December 23rd, 2000
EV Fan 1: Ref, you haven’t got a clue. D’you wanna ask the audience?
EV Fan 2: Hey, ref, you could phone a friend if you had any!
Arwel Thomas has a kicking nightmare for Wales ‘A’ v Italy ‘A’ at ECP, February, 2000
“Arwel, you couldn’t hit a cow’s arse with a banjo!”
Contributed by MJV (to whom others also attribute this great quote).
Caerphilly v Ebbw Vale, February 2000
Caerphilly batter Ebbw Vale’s line in injury time as Clayton Thomas awards a series of penalties.
Caerphilly supporter: For goodness sake Clayton, make them stand behind their dead ball line; it’s the only way we’ll score a try.
Contributed by Neil Harris
Scott Quinnell sent off by Nigel Williams for holding on to the ball, Ebbw Vale v Llanelli, 1999.
Ebbw supporter: Look! he’s heading straight for the burger van!
Llanelli v Ebbw Vale, 1999: Matt Cardey’s Scarlet debut
Ebbw fan: What do you boys down here think of this Cardey, then?
Scarlet 1: I think he’s fast, but lacks skill.
Scarlet 2: I think he’s skilful, but lacks pace.
Scarlet 3: Just think, he could have signed for Cardiff and lacked both.
Contributed by Tony Davies.
Pontypridd v Ebbw Vale, 1998
After a string of penalties in Ponty’s favour, the referee (could have been our beloved CT again) finally puts his arm up for Ebbw.
Ebbw fan: Thank God for that, ref, I thought you’d had a stroke!
Contributed and attributed anonymously – probably just as well.
Llanelli v Ebbw Vale, 1997: referee stops play for an injury to Rupert Moon
Ebbw fan: Play on ref, he’s not front row.
Llanelli fan: Shut up, mun, the man’s nose is bleeding
Ebbw fan: Bloody hell, Moony’s got a nose bleed. Fetch a tanker someone!
My personal favourite (I was standing just behind the man responsible)
Derwyn Jones offside at a ruck (again) Cardiff v Ebbw Vale, 1997.
Ebbw supporter: For God’s sake ref, you can’t miss him! Just listen for the clip-clop of hooves and the swish of the tail!
Contributed by D. Evans, attributed to DJL.
Gloucester v Ebbw Vale, Anglo-Welsh Cup (1996?)
A partial solar eclipse occurred during the game.
A Glawster fan at the front of the Shed points towards the celestial event as the moon slips in front of the sun and shouts, “Referee! Crossing!”
Llandovery v Ebbw Vale, 1993
A scrum wheels.
Irate, ill-informed Llandovery supporter: Blow up referee, it’s gone through forty five (pronounced “fottyfive”) degrees!
Abertillery v Ebbw Vale, May 1992 (remember the hailstorm?)
Aber fan: Ebbw Vale are living offside ref!
Ebbw fan: Ignore him ref, he’s only sulking ‘cos we’ve got the Garden Festival and they haven’t!
Aber fan: And that’s not Ebbw Vale it’s Blaenau Gwent.
Aber fan: Referee! Ebbw Vale are offside again!
Ebbw fan: It’s not Ebbw Vale, it’s Blaenau Gwent!
The decimal system arrives in Ebbw!
Ebbw Supporter: C’mon Ref get ’em back 10 metres.
Reply from an Ebbw supporter further up on the bank: Ah listen, Mike’s gone metric.
Contributed by Wally
Home game, opposition and date unknown, but mid 80s.
An Ebbw Vale centre is penalised for a head-high tackle.
First Ebbw supporter: Come on Ebbw, tackle their legs! They can’t run without their legs!
Second Ebbw supporter: They can’t run without their £$%&*% heads, either!
Contributed by D. Evans
Maesteg v Ebbw Vale – mid eighties
There is a scrum right in front of us.
Ebbw fan: Referee, Referee come on he’s not binding! C’mon ref, that blond boy, he’s still not binding, sort him out!!
Maesteg fan: That’s the scrum half, butt.
Ebbw fan: Aah…
Contributed by D. Evans
A home game some time in the mid/late 1970s
The late, great Clive Burgess goes down injured (unbelievable, but true!)
A voice from the bank cries: Is there a welder in the crowd?
Contributed by D. Evans, attributed to K. Matthews